Virgil shook off another bizarre hiccup in Space-Time in the moments before he arrived at the Tisdale house. Sadly, Lucy's dementia in the post-apocalyptic period occasionally bled out into mass hallucinations distorting past and future and convincing people momentarily of an alternate reality.
As Virgil arrived at Lucy's house, he noticed that it didn't look quite right. While this might have been due to the fact Meg had recently repainted the ground floor shutters, it was probably more due to the fact the house was engulfed in hellfire. Bombies! Fearing not for his life, Virgil rushed into the inferno. In one room, Meg was crying for help, surrounded by flames. In the other, Lucy was locked in a loving embrace with Selig Retsuc. Virgil rescued Meg. Virgil liked Meg. Then the house exploded. While Selig Retsuc had developed a flame retardant skin, Lucy was unfortunately, irrevocably destroyed. Burned in such a way that she could never, ever, by any stretch of the imagination be revived, her soul freed at last to occupy another, far less bitter and thoroughly less moody character in the story. Perhaps a rockin' blonde Zombie Queller named Lizzie who's from Australia and is not only able to keep up with Cam physically, but also to--every now and then--outstrip Virgil mentally. Lizzie could also like gum. Peppermint. And, for God's sake, she would never ever have ever had sexual contact of any kind with putrified zombie wangs. Please!
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Aw, man.
ReplyDeleteWow. Talk about shutting down a character path with...um...with blunt swiftness.
ReplyDeleteBut hey, I'm likin' this Lizzie character idea. We'll call her Peppermint Lizzie.
Also, this is how writing wars start. But those can be fun, too.
I kind of like Lizzie, too.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to say I'm kind of proud that I grossed Aaron out so much that the only possible way he could deal with Lucy was by annihilating her completely.
Go me.
I realize it was a bit abrupt, but a guy can only get kicked in the head so many times. Ya know? :)
ReplyDeletePS -- Who doesn't like a good writing war?
PPS -- And sorry, Leslie, about Lucy, but I just couldn't stomach the zombie wang. I think Lizzie could totally rock. Then we could be friends again. I'll make sure Lizzie doesn't get charmed by Virgil's otherwise undeniable appeal, and maybe you can let Virgil not be a retard. Peace?
"PS--Who doesn't like a good writing war?"
ReplyDeleteThis from a man who has never been to the multi-partner writing war front. Dude, I was in the trenches for four years. I'm not goin' back. These days I'm all about the writing VW Buses, the writing tie-dye shirts and big sunglasses, and peace symbols. The writing love and flowers in my hair.
Leslie - why on earth would you be surprised that you could gross out Aaron? The guy can't stomach the thought of mushrooms. MUSHROOMS. And you expect him to blithely engage in the tale of the dead mush ding-dong?
But enough of all that. To the point! To the purpose! Where the hell is Meg? (I would also ask where Lady M is, but we know that flighty little bat girl only shows up when you least expect it)
And I'm desperately hoping for a rejoinder from the once-great Selig Retsuc. He's been pretty beaten up these days. Is there any revenge on the horizon from our increasingly diminuitive villain?
Lastly, at what point was Virgil made into a retard? I don't think we're getting enough credit here. I mean, Cam wrote a GLOWING review of the man. And Cam hates everybody. Except zombies. Burning zombies.
I agree that Virgil got pretty good write ups. Lucy sure liked him. Cam sure liked him. I don't know how Virgil felt about himself, but I think a good occult spirit summoning in a circle of protective symbols engraved in the floor would cure any self-esteem issues Virgil may have. Maybe he can summon Lizzie.
ReplyDeleteI sorta think it should be his job, being as how he killed off Lucy.
ReplyDelete