The Hundred Acre Wood

Welcome to 2009, everyone. It's my honor and privilege to contribute the first blog post in the new year. I hope you all will join me as I completely ignore the last post of 2008. Yes, I spit Joe on my screen as I read it (I meant COFFEE, Aaron), mostly because there were too many references for me to follow. Okay, you caught me--I didn't completely ignore the previous post as promised since I have now referenced it three times. But I usually do keep my promises. Honest, I do. And to prove it, I'm going to regale you with the story of the Hundred Acre Wood as I promised in a previous post. But don't hold me to the "regale" part as that was an off-handed comment, not technically a promise (but if you feel regaled upon completing your read, that's perfectly lovely).

Once upon a time there was a writers' group called the Todds. Then for awhile we called it the Teds. By "we" I do not mean Aaron. Let's just say the name was a point of contention. As in, Todd was more than content to have it named after him (even if it was named "Ted" which was a reference to what his new editor mistakenly called him). But Aaron was less than content. Far less than. So we bantered about (much as we do on this blog) trying to figure out what to call our group. Wryters' Group was lame (I don't mind saying this since I contributed it), and I believe there were some other less-than-memorable suggestions that I don't remember. But finally we came to call ourselves "The Sparkling Hammers." Please be sure to ask Morgen to explain why (as I so thoughtfully did in front of Jeffery Deaver in an attempt to embarrass her). Now this new name is ALSO a reference to Todd, but miraculously Aaron is not opposed to it and in fact embraces it because it is poking fun at Todd rather than paying homage to him. But of course Todd still takes it as paying homage, so everyone is happy. All of which has nothing to do with The Hundred Acre Wood, but I thought it would be a fun little backstory. Do note the hook--the mystery surrounding our group name "The Sparkling Hammers." I hope it will be enough to keep you reading.
So, once upon a time (more recently than the previous Once), I mentioned to my fellow Hammers that my mother said I'm "Eeyore," as in mopey and sad and morose and negative. As I'd hoped when mentioning this, everyone in the group disagreed with my mother. I am most certainly NOT Eeyore. I can't be, because Aaron is Eeyore. The group decided that I am Kanga because I've settled very comfortably into the role of taking care of the other members of the group, cooking for them and such like a mama kangaroo (if kangaroos could cook). And besides, I'm often accompanied by a Roo. Spelled "Ruh" actually, but pronounced "Roo". He's my service dog. (I'll post a picture of him on my profile--but don't take that as a promise because kangaroos are notoriously inept at all things technological. What, you didn't know that?)
Thus began the discussion of "If Chris is Kanga and Aaron is Eeyore, who are the rest of us?" The next thing that was said should be no surprise to anyone who knows Todd--Todd is Tigger. Todd is more Tigger than I am Kanga, or even more than Aaron is Eeyore (though that is debatable). It was more difficult to figure out the rest of the cast.
Giles (where are you, Giles? we miss you!) proclaimed himself to be Christopher Robin. Aaron argued with him, mostly because that what Aaron does (when he's not sparring with Todd). My take on Giles is that he WANTS to be Christopher Robin because he'd like to believe that we are all characters in his own story, to be manipulated and bent according to his own whims. I'm more inclined to see Giles as Owl. He is a bit of a feathered guru. We'll leave it at that. (Giles, if you disagree, it sure would be nice to hear from you...)
Leslie is Piglet. She's little. And cute. And pink. With a cute little pink nose. She laughs. And she's cute. And pink. Enough said.
I'm not sure who Morgen is. I'm not sure the reality of The Hundred Acre Wood world can handle a character like Morgen. Maybe that's why she's only an occasional contributor to the Hammers. If by occasional one means "is seldom there, but always has a presence, kind of like a cloud casting a much loved shadow over the land." So I'll unilaterally decide that she's the "small black rain cloud" surrounded by a swarm of bees near the honey tree until someone comes up with something better.
That leaves Pooh. Who is Pooh? Well, Pooh is the central character whom all the other characters rally around. The stories are all about Pooh. Given this, there are a couple Hammers who might think themselves Pooh-ish, but we have already assigned them characters. Do the Hammers have no Pooh? The Hundred Acre Wood would not exist without Pooh, so it follows that we must have one (just play along with the logic here). Thus I conclude and assert with Kanga-like matter-of-fact assuredness, that our WRITING is Pooh. Yes, it is sometimes poopy, but that's another topic. What I mean to say is, the Writing is what brings us all together and is the center of our purpose and interest.
"What?" you might be saying. "WHAT? That's all you've got? I read all that to end up with that lame analogy???" Well, I never promised it would be climactic. I'm not all about the climax (though, from previous posts, you may conclude that other Hammers are). I'd like to think I'm more about the characters. So please forgive me for the Pooh-py ending, and instead enjoy (hopefully) the images you now have of the members of our group--Tigger, Eeyore, Kanga, Piglet, an absentee Christopher Robin--slash--Owl, and a stuffed animal masquerading as a little black raincloud.

That's it for the story of The Hundred Acre Wood.

Oh, I didn't come back to the hook? The what, why and history of "The Sparkling Hammers" name? Hmm. Well, I didn't promise that, did I? I guess you'll just have to keep reading to find out. What a nasty literary device. But don't blame me, I didn't invent it. Giles did. You'll have to speak to him about it.

Happy new year!

PS We currently have no Rabbit. Interested parties can apply via "Comments," but do so at your own discretion--no one really likes Rabbit.