Help! I'm trapped in a wood of indeterminate size, imprisoned here by a wizard with sexy new undies and HyperHarryPotterish lexaconic powers. I can only be rescued by a crack team assembled and led by a guilt ridden politico/preacher wannabe known as The(er maybe, not)Talent. He needs a tiger striped Viking to do the heavy chopping, a threesome-teasing absentnatrix who specializes in exsanguination, a delicate flower willing to distract the enemy by suffering repeated squashings, a maternal marsupial with a fetish for logistics, a freakishly elongated lurker known only as: model SLB34, a load of holy crap, and some nonexistent thing called a pooh.
Please send longwinded help before it's too late.
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